Long-lost Friends Don't Die...They Resurface on Facebook

It's been a long, long time since my elementary and high school days. The crazy thing is that I still remember most of the names of the kids I attended school with way back in the BC Age (before computer). Names...and...faces of those classmates from so long ago readily surface to my memory if ever a mention of them pops up. I think most of us have this same weird selective kind of memory. If somebody ever asked me: "Hey, remember Petie O'Brien from 7th grade?" Instantly, an image of a cute Irish boy with red curly hair and an impish grin would surface on my brain. Petie was friendly and sweet and popular with the girls and used to hang out at the A&W Rootbeer stand. And occasionally, he'd smile at me.


I'm thinking about all this now because over the past year, I've happily reconnected with numerous old classmates on Facebook. Even met up in person with a group of long-lost girlfriends at a mini-reunion this past summer. Up til then, I really had no inclination to recollect about high school days, much less...grade school. That period of my life has been off my radar screen for 40 years. But these days, social networking sites have an eerie way of jettisoning our long-dismissed past smack up to the full frontal present.


So it is, that old school mates seldom die. Instead they resurface on Facebook. I haven't thought about Petie O'Brien for decades and suddenly this week, a photo of Petie flashes across my Facebook wall. It's like being catapulted into another world. My long-lost world of YOUTH.  Is this a good thing or a malevolent techno nightmare? Personally, I think it's more a matter of curiosity than anything else. After all, isn't it kind of sweet to learn that the ugly duckling, shy, young girl back in ninth grade has now become an award-winning, successful business woman and glam fem fatal? Or ain't it a hoot to find out that some of those snooty, stuck-up high school brats who shoved us aside in the halls have finally got their comeuppance? Take the once svelte, hot lips, back-stabbing cheerleader who could snag any guy she wanted. Frankly, I'm doing the happy dance knowing that over the years she's morphed into an obese, thrice divorced, wrinkled old hag living in a trailer in south Florida, hawking plastic alligators and socks at the weekend flea market.


Recently, I was pleasantly surprised to receive a catchy email from Will, a tall, devilishly handsome, former classmate who demonstrated remarkable brilliance and humor in high school Spanish class. Turns out he reads my blog and was responding to one of my posts. Out of the blue his name appeared on my screen. And without hesitation, I remembered him. Like no time had passed at all. If only I could just as easily recall where I put my reading glasses.


Of course today, we all look different. We're older. Wrinkled. Rusty, dusty, even musty. Different hair color. Some have no hair. Many of us have been physically reshaped for better or for worse. We're accomplished. We're experienced. We're parents and grandparents and a few great-grands. We've been to war, some to jail. We've had exciting careers and intriguing lives and fascinating adventures. We've traveled, captained our own sailboats and flown our own planes. While I and many others have lived all over the country, a good number chose to remain close to home. We've weaved our lives into different patterns. Some more intricate than others. Yet our joys and sorrows have probably been similar. Collectively, we're wiser and I bet a whole lot kinder and nicer than we were back in high school. 


Which brings me to the subject of bullying, especially cyberbullying...by college kids, high schoolers and even grade school kids. I find it horrifying. I worry about my own grandchildren and I wonder what frightening tribulations and outlandish ordeals they will have to endure when they become school age. I'd be lost without my computer now. But I'm actually glad computers weren't around when I was in school. True, we lacked the immediate information gratification that the computer age engenders. But our generation did not have to deal with the complications, humiliations and ramifications of online threats, personal attacks, confrontations, hate and intolerance horrors faced by computer savvy young people today. Without a doubt, we  had our teenage angst and dramas back then. Yet overall, I think our class for the most part, was an extremely decent, good, honorable, smart, responsible and compassionate group who grew into productive adults. That's not to say we didn't have problems. I was even bullied by some mean girls. But I never thought of it as "bullying". No one gave it a label. Luckily I survived. I never told anyone. But I never forgot it. Nor have I forgotten the name of the person who instigated it. And thanks to Facebook, I know where she lives........

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