Lindsay Lohan Meets Judge Judy

Lindsay Lohan should consider herself lucky. Wonder if she'd been served up justice by Judge Judy? Do you think no-nonsense Judge Judy would coddle little Miss "It's not my fault" Lohan with a measley 3 months in jail? Not only did Lohan miss NINE court-ordered alcohol counseling sessions, but she painted the F word on her fingernails and flashed them to the judge throughout her court appearance. Over recent years, Lohan has been arrested for drunk driving, cocaine possession and other felony drug use. She appears to be unrepentent and has not accepted responsibility for her problems. Now she's whining about going to jail.

You think Judge Judy would have put up with Lindsay's no-show appearances, lame-brain excuses and crocodile tears? As in "Sorry your honor, but I was on a fancy shmancy yacht in Cannes with Dom Perignon and I just couldn't tear myself away to visit your lowly courtroom?"  Judge Judy would've smacked down such narcisstic drivel with her now legendary retort: "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."

Can you just imagine how furious the irrascible Judge would be if she saw Lohan flaunting the "F" bomb on her fingernails? Take-no prisoners Judy would've thrown the sassy little actress in the slammer faster than Lohan could say: "Baby needs a cocktail."  Then she'd order the poor trembling starlet to share a cell block with the likes of such lovely lady offenders as Ronda, the Fist, Lewinsky and Shakita, I'm Your Worst Nightmare, Jones. Instead of sporting expensively obscene manicures, Lohan could very well be hustling cigs in the big yard, sharpening up shivs and shanks and comparing tatoos with real-life mean girls of the prison world....all if Judge Judy justice prevailed. Sphere: Related Content