Politics in the Pumpkin Patch

                       If politicians invaded the pumpkin patch:

Democrats would: 

• Allow the federal government to seize the patch.

• Create a pumpkin czar.
  

• Tell the farmer how many pumpkins he can grow and how much to charge. 
  

• Offer a mud option to every pumpkin.

• Weed out and smash the older pumpkins.

• Give away free pumpkins to illegal aliens.
  

• Spread the wealth by ordering the farmer to give a percentage of his earnings to benefit field mice.
  

• Determine that orange is not a politically correct color and insist that all pumpkins must be green.
  

• Levy taxes on the plumpest pumpkins.

• Form a pumpkin union.

• Provide stimulus money to the foxes who roam the pumpkin patch.

• Hold a National Pumpkin Day parade with Nancy Pelosi as grand marshal. 

• Ban pumpkins altogether because they look too much like Rush Limbaugh.

Republicans would:

• Find a way to convert pumpkin mash into automobile fuel.

• Bomb the patch because they heard Osama Bin Laden is hiding out there.
  

• Nominate Glen Beck as Pumpkinhead of the Year.

• Give pumpkins the right to vote.
  

• Choose a pumpkin as their presidential candidate in 2012.

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